When an event like the shooting in Jerusalem happens, Muslims are always being asked to show that they, too are horrified and disgusted and saddened by the killings. I find it very difficult to do so. Islam teaches that the killing of innocents is a heinous crime, and there will be no refuge for the murderer on the day of judgement. Self defence is allowed, as long as the attacker is attacking you, but as soon as they stop then your defensive fighting has to stop too.
So why do I find it difficult to condemn at attack on 'students at a Seminary'?. The first reason is that the last few weeks (just the last few weeks, don't even ask about the last 60 years) have seen many innocent Palestinians killed, including babies, including children shot by Israeli snipers while in their own homes. And no-one said anything. Not a word. Now that 8 Israelis have been killed by a Palestinian gunman however, the whole world is screaminig from the rooftops about it, the American President and the British Prime Minister have issued statements
along with other world leaders.
News footage of Palestinians in refuge camps 'celebrating' the killings has been shown (sometimes several times in the same news bulletin). Meanwhile, there was absolutely ZERO coverage of the Israeli mob that gathered to chant 'Death to Arabs', as was reliably reported by other news outlets. Instead we were told by our 'esteemed' TV news bulletins that an Israeli rabbi called for no revenge attacks. In the sure and certain hope, I believe, that for every one of the 8 Israelis killed, at least 50 Palestinians will be slaughtered.
Also, surprisingly, the Daily Mail gave a very good account of itself in reporting the incident, and actually mentioned that far from being a stronghold of peaceful scholarly pursuits, the seminary where the students were killed is actually at the heart of the violent, vicious and racist 'settler movement' in Israel.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
The Myth of the Self-Hating Jew
This book looks like a gripping read insha'Allah, excerpt in the Grauniad today:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/mar/04/israelandthepalestinians.bookextracts
While it's true that any criticism of Israeli atrocities brings a deluge of hate-mail to anyone brave enough to swim against the tide of pro-Israeli world media, the most bitter response is reserved for the so-called 'self-hating jew'.
If anyone wonders why should Israel be criticised (and unless they make an effort to look for unbiased media sources, they may not know why) read here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/mar/03/israelandthepalestinians.usa1
I find myself unable to comment on recent Israeli atrocities, it just hurts too much. Suffice to say, that if Muslims were responsible for even a fraction of the kind of horror that is routinely inflicted upon Palestinians, the whole world would be screaming about it. Instead, there is a deafening silence from 99% of the world.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/mar/04/israelandthepalestinians.bookextracts
While it's true that any criticism of Israeli atrocities brings a deluge of hate-mail to anyone brave enough to swim against the tide of pro-Israeli world media, the most bitter response is reserved for the so-called 'self-hating jew'.
If anyone wonders why should Israel be criticised (and unless they make an effort to look for unbiased media sources, they may not know why) read here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/mar/03/israelandthepalestinians.usa1
I find myself unable to comment on recent Israeli atrocities, it just hurts too much. Suffice to say, that if Muslims were responsible for even a fraction of the kind of horror that is routinely inflicted upon Palestinians, the whole world would be screaming about it. Instead, there is a deafening silence from 99% of the world.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Scouts
So here we are in London. It's a while since Zeno went to Scouts, so I took him yesterday . When we got there the leaders hadn't arrived to open the doors, so there were lots of boys standing around. Of course Zeno just dived in, waving 'hello' and launching into a high speed monologue which left the boys gaping. I really hate seeing them laughing and nudging each other, and asking each other 'what's he saying? can you understand what he's saying?' etc. etc. Thanks be to God Zeno is oblivious to most of it. I don't know whether his high self-esteem is a feature of his condition (sometimes I have to rein it in a bit, very gently) but thank God for it anyway, because you never want to see your child with hurt feelings or feeling rejected or humiliated.
The scout leaders arrived eventually (half an hour late which is kind of usual for them, must remember not to bother being on time in future) and straight away Zeno and the other boys (and some girls) were running round the hall like lunatics. The scout leaders are all really nice girls masha'Allah, very good with Zeno actually. There is another Muslim scout group in East London which one of the brothers from the revert group helps run - I am thinking of taking Zeno there as well as our one is only every 2 weeks. It's a long way but at least it's a straight run on the central line, and I could while away the time at the East London Islamic Centre. I know some people don't agree with having separate scout groups for Muslims, but the opportunity to get together with so many other Muslim children is really important for me. We live in a society which is not only non-Muslim but actually anti-Muslim, and I know Zeno is very aware of the underlying hostility (he's very into newspapers and news websites and we often have to discuss anti-Islamic articles or hostility to Muslims on tv - talkshows etc.). So being surrounded by like-minded Muslims can feel like - wow we can relax, no-one's giving us dirty looks or making assumptions about us cos we're Muslims.
Met up with one of the sisters from the home edders group, both her boys are ASD as well and Zeno gets on really well with them. I will have to make the effort to get to Scouts more often, cos Zeno really enjoyed it, alhamdulillah.
The scout leaders arrived eventually (half an hour late which is kind of usual for them, must remember not to bother being on time in future) and straight away Zeno and the other boys (and some girls) were running round the hall like lunatics. The scout leaders are all really nice girls masha'Allah, very good with Zeno actually. There is another Muslim scout group in East London which one of the brothers from the revert group helps run - I am thinking of taking Zeno there as well as our one is only every 2 weeks. It's a long way but at least it's a straight run on the central line, and I could while away the time at the East London Islamic Centre. I know some people don't agree with having separate scout groups for Muslims, but the opportunity to get together with so many other Muslim children is really important for me. We live in a society which is not only non-Muslim but actually anti-Muslim, and I know Zeno is very aware of the underlying hostility (he's very into newspapers and news websites and we often have to discuss anti-Islamic articles or hostility to Muslims on tv - talkshows etc.). So being surrounded by like-minded Muslims can feel like - wow we can relax, no-one's giving us dirty looks or making assumptions about us cos we're Muslims.
Met up with one of the sisters from the home edders group, both her boys are ASD as well and Zeno gets on really well with them. I will have to make the effort to get to Scouts more often, cos Zeno really enjoyed it, alhamdulillah.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Local Beauty Spots
I can't believe I have been visiting Bobbie for the last 15 years or so and never realised what a lovely part of Weymouth her house is in. For the past few months we have had the leisure to go for walks just in the local area and it is really amazing. Of course the sandy beach is where we always headed before, and still do very often. A few days ago we walked all along the Esplanade to the Sea Life Centre, past Greenhill Gardens which was looking lovely in the winter sunshine. We climbed the stairs to the roof of the 'beach hut building' (as I call it) and the view was amazing - I could have sat there all day looking at sea and listening to the waves.
There is a local beauty spot just around the corner from the house, with some lovely views of Weymouth. It's actually a short cut to Chesil Beach, as I was delighted to find out. Unfortunately the land has been sold to developers who are doing their utmost to reclassify it from its present 'common ground' definition.
Yesterday we tried a new route to Chesil Beach, turning left down Chickerell Road instead of right, then left again till we got to 'Lanehouse Rocks' - a dashing name for what is actually a dangerous road for pedestrians, especially little ones. It's a very steep road but the view at the top is worth the aching calves (well it's not that steep but I am out of condition). When you reach the summit and turn around you can see distant views of the coast on both sides - Weymouth Bay on your right and Chesil Beach on your left. We turned right at the end of Lanehouse Rocks, and took 'Camp Road', hoping to strike the coast after about 10-15 minutes, but our efforts were baffled at every turn. Towards the end of Camp Road the pavement ended and it was just too dangerous to carry on with the kids. There was a grassy bank on the other side of the road but it was kind of narrow and sloping and didn't look safe. On one side of the road (which was surprisingly busy) there was a fenced-off field which had 'army' signs all over it, and on the other was a caravan park, also completely fenced off, with a footpath running along the side (parallel to the coast). We tried walking along the army fence first, after a hundred yards or so I changed my mind after checking the map as it didn't look possible to reach the sea that way. We tried the path next to the caravan park next, always looking for a way through but it was barbed wire and thick (six foot thick in places) brambles all the way. We could see the sea by now, sparkling in the late afternoon sunshine. It was going to be a spectacular sunset, but I wanted to be home for maghrib prayer so when the footpath took a sharp turn left (away from the coast) I reluctantly decided to give up and head back home. We reached the end of the footpath 5 minutes later, and were back on a normal street with houses. I was surprised how often the pavement disappeared and left us walking on the road. Another 5 minutes saw us on the main 'Portland Road' and another glorious view down to Chesil Beach and the Isle of Portland straight ahead. We took the shortcut home from there, along a footpath running initially beside a cemetary, which after a couple of stiles opens out to the Common (Markham Common maybe?), from which Chickerell Road can be reached in about 10 minutes. It's good to know that both Weymouth Bay & Chesil are within walking distance, although the Chesil walk is much more scenic, subhan'Allah.
I am really pleased that the kids don't seem to mind walking at all, and Boudie only complained after a couple of hours brisk (for him) walking, which isn't bad for a 3 yr old alhamdulillah. As for Zeno, he recently REFUSED to get in a taxi in London and preferred to walk from Fulham Road to Queensway, masha'Allah. Of course the problem with him is getting him out of the house in the first place.
There is a local beauty spot just around the corner from the house, with some lovely views of Weymouth. It's actually a short cut to Chesil Beach, as I was delighted to find out. Unfortunately the land has been sold to developers who are doing their utmost to reclassify it from its present 'common ground' definition.
Yesterday we tried a new route to Chesil Beach, turning left down Chickerell Road instead of right, then left again till we got to 'Lanehouse Rocks' - a dashing name for what is actually a dangerous road for pedestrians, especially little ones. It's a very steep road but the view at the top is worth the aching calves (well it's not that steep but I am out of condition). When you reach the summit and turn around you can see distant views of the coast on both sides - Weymouth Bay on your right and Chesil Beach on your left. We turned right at the end of Lanehouse Rocks, and took 'Camp Road', hoping to strike the coast after about 10-15 minutes, but our efforts were baffled at every turn. Towards the end of Camp Road the pavement ended and it was just too dangerous to carry on with the kids. There was a grassy bank on the other side of the road but it was kind of narrow and sloping and didn't look safe. On one side of the road (which was surprisingly busy) there was a fenced-off field which had 'army' signs all over it, and on the other was a caravan park, also completely fenced off, with a footpath running along the side (parallel to the coast). We tried walking along the army fence first, after a hundred yards or so I changed my mind after checking the map as it didn't look possible to reach the sea that way. We tried the path next to the caravan park next, always looking for a way through but it was barbed wire and thick (six foot thick in places) brambles all the way. We could see the sea by now, sparkling in the late afternoon sunshine. It was going to be a spectacular sunset, but I wanted to be home for maghrib prayer so when the footpath took a sharp turn left (away from the coast) I reluctantly decided to give up and head back home. We reached the end of the footpath 5 minutes later, and were back on a normal street with houses. I was surprised how often the pavement disappeared and left us walking on the road. Another 5 minutes saw us on the main 'Portland Road' and another glorious view down to Chesil Beach and the Isle of Portland straight ahead. We took the shortcut home from there, along a footpath running initially beside a cemetary, which after a couple of stiles opens out to the Common (Markham Common maybe?), from which Chickerell Road can be reached in about 10 minutes. It's good to know that both Weymouth Bay & Chesil are within walking distance, although the Chesil walk is much more scenic, subhan'Allah.
I am really pleased that the kids don't seem to mind walking at all, and Boudie only complained after a couple of hours brisk (for him) walking, which isn't bad for a 3 yr old alhamdulillah. As for Zeno, he recently REFUSED to get in a taxi in London and preferred to walk from Fulham Road to Queensway, masha'Allah. Of course the problem with him is getting him out of the house in the first place.
Three Little Menaces
I am hating housework at the moment, astaghfirallah. It seems to take up all my time, and there are so many other things I would much rather be doing. The kids are terribly untidy and destructive, it's like they are on a mission to wreck the house. So far two banisters have been knocked out, the front door has had a piece removed from it, the curtains in the sitting room have been ripped, the fancy holders for holding the curtains back have been ripped out of the walls (altogether at least 6 of them), the sitting room door has somehow been pulled off its hinges, the immaculate walls have been drawn on with felt tip, pencil, and anything else they could get their hands on. I am almost tempted to give in to Abuzein's advice to remove all writing materials and all toys and puzzles from the house entirely. The toys are usually strewn around the house, but any attempt to surreptiously pick them up and put them away (I have long since abandoned the cheery cry of "tidy up time boys" as it is always met with howls of protest and derision) is found out and the boxes emptied again. The new yellow sofas have been drawn on with the 'dry wipe' markers which seem to contain an amazing amount of ink. The laptop I am writing on now has had more than half of its keys picked away so I am actually using a separate keyboard.
Is it just my kids? Everyone else's kids seem so well behaved, obedient and polite. Masha'Allah.
Is it just my kids? Everyone else's kids seem so well behaved, obedient and polite. Masha'Allah.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Birthdays
My second eldest sister is 52 today! It's a bit scary that time is flying by so fast, but also quite reassuring that being 50+ isn't as elderly as it used to be - Bobbie is embarking on a new business venture and has also just started a college course. I turned 40 myself on my last birthday, which was surprisingly untraumatic - maybe because of having 4 older sisters who are aging very well lol, masha'Allah. I don't really feel any worse than I did as a teenager or a twentysomething, in fact I feel lots better, alhamdulillah, much happier and more tranquil.
Of course being a Muslim is the main reason for that, although having kids also has contributed to my contentment. I suffered from depression a lot in my twenties, but never since becoming a Muslim have I had a bad depression. Alhamdulillah - all praise and thanks belongs to God.
Well it's good for me to reflect at the moment that being a mother has also been such a hugely positive thing in my life. Just at the moment the kids are being incredibly trying, especially Zudie. It seems impossible for him to understand that I cannot immediately bring him whatever he asks me for - so for example he wants his toy 'racing car', and he calls out "Mama, racing car". I don't know where his racing car is but I tell him to come with me and we'll look for it - which we do, unsuccessfully.
"I'm sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
"I don't know where your racing car is."
"Racing car."
"Sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
By now he is crying and shouting repeatedly "racing car." If I walk away he will continue to shout after me "Mama, mama, racing car." He can do this for an indefinite period. I mean literally hours. I will end up with palpitations and the shakes from the effort of remaining calm.
I can't possibly allow myself to become angry or shout at him because he does not understand at all and it is not his fault. Distraction would be a good idea, except to mention any other toy, or a DVD that he loves, or a storybook he usually enjoys, will make him hysterically angry and he will either hit me or throw something at me or across the room.
Neither does he understand the concept of waiting for anything. If he asks me for juice when I'm busy, telling him "Wait a minute" gets either monotonous repetition of his request until it's fulfilled or sometimes tears or hysteria if he's feeling particularly impatient.
On a positive note, lately he has been really enjoying drawing pictures and copying out letters and numbers. He amazed me one day by coming to sit beside me with his pencil and paper, and then writing his name almost perfectly! turned out his dad had just written it for him to copy, but he was able to turn the page and write it again. masha'Allah. That is completely different from his older brother, who even at 9 years old never writes anything voluntarily.
Of course being a Muslim is the main reason for that, although having kids also has contributed to my contentment. I suffered from depression a lot in my twenties, but never since becoming a Muslim have I had a bad depression. Alhamdulillah - all praise and thanks belongs to God.
Well it's good for me to reflect at the moment that being a mother has also been such a hugely positive thing in my life. Just at the moment the kids are being incredibly trying, especially Zudie. It seems impossible for him to understand that I cannot immediately bring him whatever he asks me for - so for example he wants his toy 'racing car', and he calls out "Mama, racing car". I don't know where his racing car is but I tell him to come with me and we'll look for it - which we do, unsuccessfully.
"I'm sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
"I don't know where your racing car is."
"Racing car."
"Sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
By now he is crying and shouting repeatedly "racing car." If I walk away he will continue to shout after me "Mama, mama, racing car." He can do this for an indefinite period. I mean literally hours. I will end up with palpitations and the shakes from the effort of remaining calm.
I can't possibly allow myself to become angry or shout at him because he does not understand at all and it is not his fault. Distraction would be a good idea, except to mention any other toy, or a DVD that he loves, or a storybook he usually enjoys, will make him hysterically angry and he will either hit me or throw something at me or across the room.
Neither does he understand the concept of waiting for anything. If he asks me for juice when I'm busy, telling him "Wait a minute" gets either monotonous repetition of his request until it's fulfilled or sometimes tears or hysteria if he's feeling particularly impatient.
On a positive note, lately he has been really enjoying drawing pictures and copying out letters and numbers. He amazed me one day by coming to sit beside me with his pencil and paper, and then writing his name almost perfectly! turned out his dad had just written it for him to copy, but he was able to turn the page and write it again. masha'Allah. That is completely different from his older brother, who even at 9 years old never writes anything voluntarily.
Another Broohaha
"SHARIA LAW IN UK INEVITABLE SAYS DR. WILLIAMS"
Thanks to the dear old Archbish of Canterbury, Islam and Muslims are once again on the front pages of most of the newspapers and the usual rabidly anti-Islam columnists are gleefully sharpening their knives. To be fair to the bearded one (the A of C that is), I doubt it was his intention to stir up trouble. He seems to realise that there is more to Shariah than the hudd penalties (capital punishment for murder and adultery, and hand-chopping for persistent theft which is not due to extreme need), and he would like us all to sit down and have a sensible discussion over a nice cup of tea.
Clearly Shariah law has an image problem in the west. It is assuredly not the way it is painted in the media here. As I Muslim I understand 'Shariah' to be - the guidelines given by God as to how He wants us to live our lives. It encompasses many things, for example worship, and how we conduct relationships with others. It literally means 'the Road' or 'the Way'.
Non-Muslims in the west immediately think of 'stoning women' or 'chopping hands' when the hear the words 'shariah law'. They also think of countries like Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iran and believe that these countries follow Islamic Law. This is very far from the truth. There is no country in the world in which Islamic Law/Shariah is implemented. If it was, believe me I for one would be the first one to hop on a plane and emigrate there.
Regarding adultery, firstly let me say that men and women are equally guilty before God and the punishment applies to both of them. If you look at the record of countries like Iran you will find that both men and women are executed for adultery in roughly the same numbers (and men are executed for rape) however in the western press you will only find reports of cases of executed women.
If Islamic Law were truly implemented, adultery would be next to impossible to prove. It requires the testimony of four witnesses of good character, and they have to be able to swear that they saw penetration take place. Not that they saw two naked people rolling around on top of each other, but that they actually witnessed the male member penetrate the female genitals. (pardon my explicitness but that is the law, and Islamically speaking there should not be any squeamishness when it comes to such a serious issue).
Two other issues should make it even harder to bring forth an accusation of adultery against anyone:
1. in Islam it is absolutely forbidden to voice an unconfirmed suspicion of adultery or other immoral behaviour without definite proof. If anyone accuses someone of adultery without bringing forth the required witnesses, they are to be flogged and their witness is for ever after disregarded, a source of great shame for them.
2. as Muslims we are absolutely forbidden to spy or pry into other people's private rooms or dwellings. If there is a knock on my door and I don't see anyone there when I look through the spyhole, I usually guess it is a Muslim caller who has stood to one side after knocking so that they don't inadvertantly see into my home without being invited by myself. That is the custom and to do otherwise is seen as terribly rude.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) never pursued cases of adultery against anyone. In the rare cases where the punishment of death was applied, it was always people coming to him and confessing their sin and demanding punishment. Once, a man confessed to committing adultery and asked for the punishment, which the Prophet pbuh ordered to be carried out. Later on, those who carried out the punishment reported that the man had run away but they chased him and brought him back and killed him - the Prophet pbuh told them "You should have let him go". From this it seems very clear that only those who ask for the punishment should have it carried out on them.
Given all of the above, it is amazing that anyone should ever be convicted of adultery. That, I am sure, is exactly how it should be, not the awful cases that are reported sometimes about rape victims being flogged in Pakistan or women being sentenced to death after retracting their confession (in the case I remember the Sudanese woman was in any case divorced, so even if she had illegal sexual intercourse it was fornication rather than adultery - and the punishment for fornication in Islam is 100 lashes).
There is one more thing to say about adultery - those who believe in the Old Testament (ie Jews and Christians) have no basis for calling the death penalty for adultery barbaric as it clearly commanded by God there. Even if they believe that law is now abrogated, there is no doubt that it was once a command of God that the adulterer receive the death penalty, and for a certainty many people in old testament times were stoned to death for this (as well as other things - see the OT for a full list).
As for public flogging as a punishment for other, minor, offences - in many cases it could be better than a prison sentence, more effective as a deterrant and also more humane than locking people up. There are strict guidelines for flogging, it is not meant to be as bloodthirsty as pirate whippings or slave whippings you might see in TV dramas.
Hand-chopping? as I mentioned already, if someone steals because of extreme need (I mean of food or other sustanence for him/herself or his family) then the punishment does not apply. Only persistent thieves who do so for profit are meant to be punished in this way. And I don't have a problem with that, I save my compassion for people who are victims of theft and not the greedy perpetrators. It can be absolutely devastating to be the victim of a burglary, or even a handbag snatch or pickpocket or something.
The real irony here is that the first Islamic community, headed by the Prophet peace be upon him, was a model of tolerance and inclusiveness. The sizeable number of Jews in the community were given the right to live by their own laws and conduct their own affairs according to their scriptures - although they also had recourse to the Islamic legal process if they wished.
Thanks to the dear old Archbish of Canterbury, Islam and Muslims are once again on the front pages of most of the newspapers and the usual rabidly anti-Islam columnists are gleefully sharpening their knives. To be fair to the bearded one (the A of C that is), I doubt it was his intention to stir up trouble. He seems to realise that there is more to Shariah than the hudd penalties (capital punishment for murder and adultery, and hand-chopping for persistent theft which is not due to extreme need), and he would like us all to sit down and have a sensible discussion over a nice cup of tea.
Clearly Shariah law has an image problem in the west. It is assuredly not the way it is painted in the media here. As I Muslim I understand 'Shariah' to be - the guidelines given by God as to how He wants us to live our lives. It encompasses many things, for example worship, and how we conduct relationships with others. It literally means 'the Road' or 'the Way'.
Non-Muslims in the west immediately think of 'stoning women' or 'chopping hands' when the hear the words 'shariah law'. They also think of countries like Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iran and believe that these countries follow Islamic Law. This is very far from the truth. There is no country in the world in which Islamic Law/Shariah is implemented. If it was, believe me I for one would be the first one to hop on a plane and emigrate there.
Regarding adultery, firstly let me say that men and women are equally guilty before God and the punishment applies to both of them. If you look at the record of countries like Iran you will find that both men and women are executed for adultery in roughly the same numbers (and men are executed for rape) however in the western press you will only find reports of cases of executed women.
If Islamic Law were truly implemented, adultery would be next to impossible to prove. It requires the testimony of four witnesses of good character, and they have to be able to swear that they saw penetration take place. Not that they saw two naked people rolling around on top of each other, but that they actually witnessed the male member penetrate the female genitals. (pardon my explicitness but that is the law, and Islamically speaking there should not be any squeamishness when it comes to such a serious issue).
Two other issues should make it even harder to bring forth an accusation of adultery against anyone:
1. in Islam it is absolutely forbidden to voice an unconfirmed suspicion of adultery or other immoral behaviour without definite proof. If anyone accuses someone of adultery without bringing forth the required witnesses, they are to be flogged and their witness is for ever after disregarded, a source of great shame for them.
2. as Muslims we are absolutely forbidden to spy or pry into other people's private rooms or dwellings. If there is a knock on my door and I don't see anyone there when I look through the spyhole, I usually guess it is a Muslim caller who has stood to one side after knocking so that they don't inadvertantly see into my home without being invited by myself. That is the custom and to do otherwise is seen as terribly rude.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) never pursued cases of adultery against anyone. In the rare cases where the punishment of death was applied, it was always people coming to him and confessing their sin and demanding punishment. Once, a man confessed to committing adultery and asked for the punishment, which the Prophet pbuh ordered to be carried out. Later on, those who carried out the punishment reported that the man had run away but they chased him and brought him back and killed him - the Prophet pbuh told them "You should have let him go". From this it seems very clear that only those who ask for the punishment should have it carried out on them.
Given all of the above, it is amazing that anyone should ever be convicted of adultery. That, I am sure, is exactly how it should be, not the awful cases that are reported sometimes about rape victims being flogged in Pakistan or women being sentenced to death after retracting their confession (in the case I remember the Sudanese woman was in any case divorced, so even if she had illegal sexual intercourse it was fornication rather than adultery - and the punishment for fornication in Islam is 100 lashes).
There is one more thing to say about adultery - those who believe in the Old Testament (ie Jews and Christians) have no basis for calling the death penalty for adultery barbaric as it clearly commanded by God there. Even if they believe that law is now abrogated, there is no doubt that it was once a command of God that the adulterer receive the death penalty, and for a certainty many people in old testament times were stoned to death for this (as well as other things - see the OT for a full list).
As for public flogging as a punishment for other, minor, offences - in many cases it could be better than a prison sentence, more effective as a deterrant and also more humane than locking people up. There are strict guidelines for flogging, it is not meant to be as bloodthirsty as pirate whippings or slave whippings you might see in TV dramas.
Hand-chopping? as I mentioned already, if someone steals because of extreme need (I mean of food or other sustanence for him/herself or his family) then the punishment does not apply. Only persistent thieves who do so for profit are meant to be punished in this way. And I don't have a problem with that, I save my compassion for people who are victims of theft and not the greedy perpetrators. It can be absolutely devastating to be the victim of a burglary, or even a handbag snatch or pickpocket or something.
The real irony here is that the first Islamic community, headed by the Prophet peace be upon him, was a model of tolerance and inclusiveness. The sizeable number of Jews in the community were given the right to live by their own laws and conduct their own affairs according to their scriptures - although they also had recourse to the Islamic legal process if they wished.
Monday, January 28, 2008
New Year Update
Well we have an official diagnosis of ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) for Zeno. I had been thinking of the Aspergers label but the Paediatrician was very cautious about giving any label other than ASD and said he was reluctant to define it any further, although he said we could also call it 'High Functioning Autism'. "Don't get carried away with thinking 'high functioning' means Zeno is not much affected. He may be very much affected and have extreme difficulties in some areas, which we should be ready to recognise."
I wasn't sure how to take that really. Stefan also said that Zeno found it hard to know what is going on in other people's heads, which is something that everyone else (everyone not autistic that is) begins to grasp in a rudimentary way from babyhood. This can cause problems with communicating with people - just having a conversation can be frustrating for both parties. Also it might make the world a scary place sometimes if one is unable to understand other people or empathise with them.
It was an interesting meeting. I vaguely recall the psychologist (there were 3 doctors there) saying we could have an 'educational psychology' assessment which I am really keen on. We talked briefly about some of the problems of educating someone at the high-functioning end of autism, eg the difficulty they sometimes have with simple maths or learning to tell the time from an analogue clock despite high intelligence, and concentration problems, amongst other things. It's always such a relief to find someone who doesn't furrow their brows and look worried when you tell them things, but is really blase and tells you "oh yes that's quite usual in these cases".
Anyway, nothing is really static alhamdulillah. Right now Zeno is sitting at the table doing maths worksheets which up to now he has really passionately hated, but he actually asked me for them and is enjoying doing them. they are only simple addition (3 rows of double figures) but anyway that is what the psychologist suggested at the meeting - go back to the basics. He's a whizz at fractions and some other more complicated maths masha'Allah but if the basics aren't covered you always run into problems. He's almost nine years old, and I have to admit that I sometimes tie myself in knots worrying about his education and the fact that he is so behind 'schooled' children in some areas (even though he is way ahead in others). The areas in which he is ahead are those which interest him, and I stress about the fact that everyone needs to knuckle down sometimes and work at things which may not interest us - if he can't do that, is he disadvantaged? Should I be more tyrannical about covering the national curriculum, making him write, etc.?
Educationally, there are a few things I want to cover in the next month or two:
Go over maths basics again: addition, subtraction, multiplication tables
Arabic reading - sight reading of 'fatiha' and the 3 'quls'
Qur'an - Stick with the 15 or so short surahs he knows by heart and revise them regularly
Islamic Studies - continue with the textbook
English - carry on with the present programme which alhamdulillah is going well
Science, history, geography - these subjects interest Zeno and he reads a lot by himself, which is fine for now.
I intend to do some cooking together with the kids insha'Allah as a way to encourage Zeno to broaden his diet.
I would like to make a point of taking him to every scout meeting (unfortunately they're only every fortnight anyway), and finding some other regular group to attend other than the informal home-edders get-togethers (without structure and a common aim socialising can sometimes end in tears with Zeno).
Friday, November 30, 2007
A Visit from the S.A.L.T. advisor
I just had a visit from a speech and language therapy advisor, who very kindly agreed to come and see us despite the fact that there is no formal provision of help to home educated children over the age of 5.
She seemed to think Zeno would benefit from speech therapy and advised me to really push for it at the child development clinic when we go there for the ADOS on Tuesday. she was also able to put a name to one of his speech 'impediments' calling it 'telegrammatic speech'.
Apparently there is an autism resource centre opening soon in Millbank, and Carolyn advised me to try and put Zeno's name down if possible. It's really for helping mild-to-moderate autistic children to make the transition to mainstream schooling, so I would have to do some research as to whether it would really be suitable for Zeno. We are quite happy home educating at the moment, although sometimes I think about flexi-schooling as he is so keen to socialise and I don't manage to get to that many home-edding events. It is tempting to think that school would be a ready-made group of friends but of course it could be a ready-made group of tormentors and bullies. This was brought home to me recently when he made the mistake of speaking to some schoolboys who were waiting outside the local shop, and they immediately started mocking and taunting. Zeno has very high self-esteem masha'Allah, but I'm not sure he would cope with that sort of thing on a daily basis.
Carolyn advised reading stories aloud (which we do sometimes) and asking Zeno questions about the characters like "how do you think he feels right now? why does he feel like that?" etc. and if necessary to provide the explanation. It would be particularly helpful to give Zeno some vocabulary of feelings and emotions, as although he has an extremely wide vocabulary it is mostly to do with facts. Also when Zeno is speaking it would be good to interrupt him and ask for the 'who, what, where and when' of the information he is giving, as his conversation often lacks structure.
Another helpful resource she mentioned was something called 'Social Stories' which are very simple stories to give an autistic child insight into how a particular behaviour issue of theirs might be making others feel. These have to be tailored towards the individual child so need to be written by me, but she said if I write something I could email it to her and she will advise if it is suitable.
It all sounded very interesting and I am keen to make a start insha'Allah. It was really good to speak to someone who was actually able to give advice rather than just 'assess' Zeno without giving us any feedback, which is what has been happening since January.
As she was leaving Carolyn said that Aspergers definitely seemed to be indicated but she was very positive about improving his pragmatic speech difficulties with the strategies she mentioned.
She seemed to think Zeno would benefit from speech therapy and advised me to really push for it at the child development clinic when we go there for the ADOS on Tuesday. she was also able to put a name to one of his speech 'impediments' calling it 'telegrammatic speech'.
Apparently there is an autism resource centre opening soon in Millbank, and Carolyn advised me to try and put Zeno's name down if possible. It's really for helping mild-to-moderate autistic children to make the transition to mainstream schooling, so I would have to do some research as to whether it would really be suitable for Zeno. We are quite happy home educating at the moment, although sometimes I think about flexi-schooling as he is so keen to socialise and I don't manage to get to that many home-edding events. It is tempting to think that school would be a ready-made group of friends but of course it could be a ready-made group of tormentors and bullies. This was brought home to me recently when he made the mistake of speaking to some schoolboys who were waiting outside the local shop, and they immediately started mocking and taunting. Zeno has very high self-esteem masha'Allah, but I'm not sure he would cope with that sort of thing on a daily basis.
Carolyn advised reading stories aloud (which we do sometimes) and asking Zeno questions about the characters like "how do you think he feels right now? why does he feel like that?" etc. and if necessary to provide the explanation. It would be particularly helpful to give Zeno some vocabulary of feelings and emotions, as although he has an extremely wide vocabulary it is mostly to do with facts. Also when Zeno is speaking it would be good to interrupt him and ask for the 'who, what, where and when' of the information he is giving, as his conversation often lacks structure.
Another helpful resource she mentioned was something called 'Social Stories' which are very simple stories to give an autistic child insight into how a particular behaviour issue of theirs might be making others feel. These have to be tailored towards the individual child so need to be written by me, but she said if I write something I could email it to her and she will advise if it is suitable.
It all sounded very interesting and I am keen to make a start insha'Allah. It was really good to speak to someone who was actually able to give advice rather than just 'assess' Zeno without giving us any feedback, which is what has been happening since January.
As she was leaving Carolyn said that Aspergers definitely seemed to be indicated but she was very positive about improving his pragmatic speech difficulties with the strategies she mentioned.
Teddy Bears and Prophets
I got a bit of a shock last night when the ITV news was on and I thought I heard that the teacher at the centre of the row over the teddy bear called Muhammad had got fifteen YEARS in jail. I had to wait until later to find out that it was actually 15 days.
I am with the Muslim Council of Britain when it says: "the authorities have grossly over-reacted" and "Gillian should never have been arrested, let alone charged and convicted of committing a crime." A quick look around the online Islamic community of message boards and e-groups finds no support at all for the conviction of this teacher and actually a lot of anger and exasperation against the Sudanese authorities.
These days I approach the papers with a lot of trepidation. If I'm feeling a bit fragile I will avoid them altogether. Try reading the 'comments from readers' attached to an article about Muslims and you will never venture outside your door again (if you belong to this barely-tolerated faith). In this case the accusations of dangerous fanaticism seem to be richly deserved, and I can only offer up a prayer that we won't all be tarred with the same brush.
Still, having said all that.....listening to Jane Moore this morning talking about the selfless British teacher who, out of the kindness of her heart because surely she couldn't be getting paid much, chose to go to the third world to help them out by educating their children, and look how they repay her!
Well that just stinks of cultural arrogance to me. Which got me thinking about the whole episode a little bit differently. A teddy bear is a western cultural icon, not a global one. Having a soft stuffed animal and making it a focus of emotional attachment or attributing human emotions to it is pretty much taken for granted here in 'the West'. In other parts of the globe it might be regarded as eccentric at best or even contemptible or sinister. The whole exercise of sending a child home from school with a stuffed animal and a note saying "my name is (whatever), please look after me and take me places with you" sounds peculiarly British and twee, and the idea that you can just take that exercise anywhere in the world and not meet with any objection or opposition is a bit arrogant.
Of course there is a political element to the story as well - the Sudanese are under pressure internationally over Darfur and are full of resentment against 'the West'. So it's not just straightforward religious fanaticism.
In any case, I do feel very sorry for the teacher and don't think she has done anything deserving of punishment whatsoever. I don't find anything in Islamic law that says otherwise.
I am with the Muslim Council of Britain when it says: "the authorities have grossly over-reacted" and "Gillian should never have been arrested, let alone charged and convicted of committing a crime." A quick look around the online Islamic community of message boards and e-groups finds no support at all for the conviction of this teacher and actually a lot of anger and exasperation against the Sudanese authorities.
These days I approach the papers with a lot of trepidation. If I'm feeling a bit fragile I will avoid them altogether. Try reading the 'comments from readers' attached to an article about Muslims and you will never venture outside your door again (if you belong to this barely-tolerated faith). In this case the accusations of dangerous fanaticism seem to be richly deserved, and I can only offer up a prayer that we won't all be tarred with the same brush.
Still, having said all that.....listening to Jane Moore this morning talking about the selfless British teacher who, out of the kindness of her heart because surely she couldn't be getting paid much, chose to go to the third world to help them out by educating their children, and look how they repay her!
Well that just stinks of cultural arrogance to me. Which got me thinking about the whole episode a little bit differently. A teddy bear is a western cultural icon, not a global one. Having a soft stuffed animal and making it a focus of emotional attachment or attributing human emotions to it is pretty much taken for granted here in 'the West'. In other parts of the globe it might be regarded as eccentric at best or even contemptible or sinister. The whole exercise of sending a child home from school with a stuffed animal and a note saying "my name is (whatever), please look after me and take me places with you" sounds peculiarly British and twee, and the idea that you can just take that exercise anywhere in the world and not meet with any objection or opposition is a bit arrogant.
Of course there is a political element to the story as well - the Sudanese are under pressure internationally over Darfur and are full of resentment against 'the West'. So it's not just straightforward religious fanaticism.
In any case, I do feel very sorry for the teacher and don't think she has done anything deserving of punishment whatsoever. I don't find anything in Islamic law that says otherwise.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Telling Your Child He Has Autism
I chose to tell him while we were out walking. The three of them ran on ahead as usual, but I called Zeno back, put my arm around his shoulders.
"You know how Zudie is a little behind in some things?" (Zeno had noticed this and pointed it out to me). "You know, at his age you had me reading encyclopaedias to you and you loved telling people about how the solar system works. You were a little ahead of other 4 year olds. But Zudie isn't like that, he's a little behind other 4 year olds. "
"Yes, he doesn't talk properly at all."
"Well, it might be because of something called autism. The doctor we went to see thinks Zoudie might have autism. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with him, just something a bit different - autistic children are a bit different from children who don't have autism."
(I'm thinking, did I say that right? I wish I had rehearsed it a bit. And now that I've brought up the subject by referring to Zudie, it's time to carefully bring it around to Zeno).
"Sometimes children who have autism are a bit behind other children in things like speaking and understanding. Sometimes children who have autism are a bit ahead in some things."
"Have I got autism?"
The directness of his question knocks me for six. I had got all psyched up to tell him he had autism, and now that all I had to say was one word "yes", I was hesitating.
"Yes, you and Zoudie probably both have autism, but different kinds".
"Can I go now? I want to go in the phone box at the bottom of the hill."
"Ok, but don't phone anyone."
And off he ran down the hill after his brothers.
I know that right now he probably has no clue about what autism is, and when he finds out there might be trouble. There will need to be further discussions and explanations. But it's a good start alhamdulillah.
"You know how Zudie is a little behind in some things?" (Zeno had noticed this and pointed it out to me). "You know, at his age you had me reading encyclopaedias to you and you loved telling people about how the solar system works. You were a little ahead of other 4 year olds. But Zudie isn't like that, he's a little behind other 4 year olds. "
"Yes, he doesn't talk properly at all."
"Well, it might be because of something called autism. The doctor we went to see thinks Zoudie might have autism. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with him, just something a bit different - autistic children are a bit different from children who don't have autism."
(I'm thinking, did I say that right? I wish I had rehearsed it a bit. And now that I've brought up the subject by referring to Zudie, it's time to carefully bring it around to Zeno).
"Sometimes children who have autism are a bit behind other children in things like speaking and understanding. Sometimes children who have autism are a bit ahead in some things."
"Have I got autism?"
The directness of his question knocks me for six. I had got all psyched up to tell him he had autism, and now that all I had to say was one word "yes", I was hesitating.
"Yes, you and Zoudie probably both have autism, but different kinds".
"Can I go now? I want to go in the phone box at the bottom of the hill."
"Ok, but don't phone anyone."
And off he ran down the hill after his brothers.
I know that right now he probably has no clue about what autism is, and when he finds out there might be trouble. There will need to be further discussions and explanations. But it's a good start alhamdulillah.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
2007 Update
Obviously it has been a busy year, too busy to do any blogging. I had a run of nasty viruses, culminating in a dose of the chickenpox, in the first few months of 2007. Then I was post-virally indisposed for a few months. Sometimes walking from one room to another would leave me exhausted and shaky. Not good when you have kids to shop, cook and clean for as well as read to, educate, take to the playground, discipline, comfort and all the other things mothers do. I admit that some of those things weren't done as often as they should have been.
Things are better now. It's no small help that we have somewhere to go when we need to get away from the flat in London whose walls press on me so horribly. There is a garden there with a trampoline, and a beach nearby, and lots of lovely walks. Alhamdulillah.
Since I last was here on blogger, it was confirmed to us that Zeno is definitely somewhere on the autistic spectrum. He is having one more assessment soon which should tell us whether he is an Aspergers child or if he is somewhere else on the spectrum.
Zudie, who is now 4, is showing signs of autism although of a different kind, maybe a bit more challenging than 'just' Aspergers. His diagnosis hasn't been confirmed but the report we had from the Paediatrician is ominous and from his behaviour I would say there is little doubt that he has autism of some kind. We love our little Zudie and he is wonderful in so many ways, no doubt masha'Allah. But....yesterday we went to the local indoor play centre and I got chatting to a little boy who told me all about himself and his views on quite a few subjects, masha'Allah. I got a bit of a jolt when he told me he was four, the same age as Zudie who still speaks in gobbledegook and finds it hard to follow simple instructions. I know that children can vary wildly in their development and they will all more or less catch up by a certain age, but still....it gave me a bit of a pang.
We are back to London tomorrow for a round of appointments, but hoping to come back to Dorset in a couple of weeks insha'Allah.
Things are better now. It's no small help that we have somewhere to go when we need to get away from the flat in London whose walls press on me so horribly. There is a garden there with a trampoline, and a beach nearby, and lots of lovely walks. Alhamdulillah.
Since I last was here on blogger, it was confirmed to us that Zeno is definitely somewhere on the autistic spectrum. He is having one more assessment soon which should tell us whether he is an Aspergers child or if he is somewhere else on the spectrum.
Zudie, who is now 4, is showing signs of autism although of a different kind, maybe a bit more challenging than 'just' Aspergers. His diagnosis hasn't been confirmed but the report we had from the Paediatrician is ominous and from his behaviour I would say there is little doubt that he has autism of some kind. We love our little Zudie and he is wonderful in so many ways, no doubt masha'Allah. But....yesterday we went to the local indoor play centre and I got chatting to a little boy who told me all about himself and his views on quite a few subjects, masha'Allah. I got a bit of a jolt when he told me he was four, the same age as Zudie who still speaks in gobbledegook and finds it hard to follow simple instructions. I know that children can vary wildly in their development and they will all more or less catch up by a certain age, but still....it gave me a bit of a pang.
We are back to London tomorrow for a round of appointments, but hoping to come back to Dorset in a couple of weeks insha'Allah.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Political Correctness gone mad
while googling for organic/free-range halal meat I came across an article in the Daily Express that first slightly irritated me then made me laugh out loud....something about a well-meaning headmistress wanting the school christmas dinner to feature halal chicken, so as to be 'inclusive'. Also on the menu, I should point out, were 'sausage and bacon rolls' (or possibly sausage rolls and bacon?). Anyway, cue cries of outrage and 'pc gone mad' etc. etc. One outraged mother felt that "my religion and culture is being trampled on". So the school has to offer a non-halal main course option after all.
What made me laugh was the same mother fuming: "we bend over backwards at eid to eat THEIR food". I tried and tried to figure out what hardships or even inconveniences these brave people overcame in order to eat the sweet pastries or little snacky things that are usually on offer to non-muslims at eid. It couldn't be just reaching out your hand and lifting the food to your lips could it?
The article mentions concerns over the Halal/Kosher methods of slaughter which prohibit stunning the animal if that might kill it or otherwise affect the draining away of blood (the heart needs to be beating when the throat is cut).
There is more to halal meat than pronouncing God's name over it and draining the blood. We are told by the Prophet pbuh that the animal must be relaxed, if it is terrified you cannot slaughter it, you have to let it go. The life of the animal matters too, it is essential that the animal had a good quality of life and was treated humanely. For this reason I no longer regard chicken as halal if it is not also free-range. I don't think intensively reared chicken can ever be halal.
What made me laugh was the same mother fuming: "we bend over backwards at eid to eat THEIR food". I tried and tried to figure out what hardships or even inconveniences these brave people overcame in order to eat the sweet pastries or little snacky things that are usually on offer to non-muslims at eid. It couldn't be just reaching out your hand and lifting the food to your lips could it?
The article mentions concerns over the Halal/Kosher methods of slaughter which prohibit stunning the animal if that might kill it or otherwise affect the draining away of blood (the heart needs to be beating when the throat is cut).
There is more to halal meat than pronouncing God's name over it and draining the blood. We are told by the Prophet pbuh that the animal must be relaxed, if it is terrified you cannot slaughter it, you have to let it go. The life of the animal matters too, it is essential that the animal had a good quality of life and was treated humanely. For this reason I no longer regard chicken as halal if it is not also free-range. I don't think intensively reared chicken can ever be halal.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
More Bad News from Iraq
Bismillah arrahman irraheem
A couple of days ago a number of employees at some ministry in Baghdad were kidnapped, apparently by Iraqi police who were able to pass through several American security checkpoints both before and after the kidnap.
Not for the first time I noticed a reticence, a coyness shall we say, on the part of western reporters to spell out the fact that Sunnis were in this case victims of Shia aggression. Al-Jazeera (Arabic) broadcast interviews with witnesses who plainly said that the kidnappers checked the ID documents of all the men and released those they identified as Shi'i, and took the Sunnis away. It was later reported, again on al-Jazeera, that they were taken to the al-Sadr district, which is a Shi'i area and home of the notorious Shi'i militants called, I think, the al-Sadr Brigade. BBC and ITV however only said that they separated the men from the women and took the men.
An update today on the BBC website, which says that although some of the kidnapped men have been released, there are fears that the remaining captives have been tortured and killed. Although it makes no mention of ethnicity in this case, it goes on to say that today in Baghdad gunmen entered a bakery in a mixed (Sunni/Shi'i) neighborhood and killed those present - the reporter helpfully explains that most bakers are Shi'i and Shi'i are often targetted by Sunnis.
This obvious bias really puzzles me as I don't see what purpose it serves.
For the record, dh was in the Iraqi army a couple of decades ago. His commanding officers were Shia and made his life a misery - not because dh is Sunni (though he is), but because he has a problem with authority and was always being sent to solitary confinement for insubordination. Being a private in the army isn't an ideal job for someone like that, but since dh refused to join the ba'ath party, his career choices were limited. His commanding officers, of course, were members of the party.
No doubt Saddam dealt harshly with Shi'i who stepped out of line - but the fact is he dealt harshly with EVERYONE who defied him.
It is always claimed that the Sunnis ruled Iraq - as if every Sunni person was more powerful and wealthy than every Shi'i, Kurd or Christian. The reality is that life was hard for everyone under Saddam. Certainly dh's family suffered a lot after the 1st gulf war, when sanctions were in place.
It is not my intention to deny the massacres carried out by Saddam - but it's not as simple as saying 'sunni bad, shia good'.
A very common refrain from all Iraqis - Sunni and Shi'i alike - when they comment on the present violence is "It was never like this before, we were all good neighbors to each other, we were all brothers of one another, we worked together and married each other, there was no difference between Sunni or Shi'i". If that's how it was when Saddam was in charge, when supposedly the Sunnis held all the power, why has it changed now?
A couple of days ago a number of employees at some ministry in Baghdad were kidnapped, apparently by Iraqi police who were able to pass through several American security checkpoints both before and after the kidnap.
Not for the first time I noticed a reticence, a coyness shall we say, on the part of western reporters to spell out the fact that Sunnis were in this case victims of Shia aggression. Al-Jazeera (Arabic) broadcast interviews with witnesses who plainly said that the kidnappers checked the ID documents of all the men and released those they identified as Shi'i, and took the Sunnis away. It was later reported, again on al-Jazeera, that they were taken to the al-Sadr district, which is a Shi'i area and home of the notorious Shi'i militants called, I think, the al-Sadr Brigade. BBC and ITV however only said that they separated the men from the women and took the men.
An update today on the BBC website, which says that although some of the kidnapped men have been released, there are fears that the remaining captives have been tortured and killed. Although it makes no mention of ethnicity in this case, it goes on to say that today in Baghdad gunmen entered a bakery in a mixed (Sunni/Shi'i) neighborhood and killed those present - the reporter helpfully explains that most bakers are Shi'i and Shi'i are often targetted by Sunnis.
This obvious bias really puzzles me as I don't see what purpose it serves.
For the record, dh was in the Iraqi army a couple of decades ago. His commanding officers were Shia and made his life a misery - not because dh is Sunni (though he is), but because he has a problem with authority and was always being sent to solitary confinement for insubordination. Being a private in the army isn't an ideal job for someone like that, but since dh refused to join the ba'ath party, his career choices were limited. His commanding officers, of course, were members of the party.
No doubt Saddam dealt harshly with Shi'i who stepped out of line - but the fact is he dealt harshly with EVERYONE who defied him.
It is always claimed that the Sunnis ruled Iraq - as if every Sunni person was more powerful and wealthy than every Shi'i, Kurd or Christian. The reality is that life was hard for everyone under Saddam. Certainly dh's family suffered a lot after the 1st gulf war, when sanctions were in place.
It is not my intention to deny the massacres carried out by Saddam - but it's not as simple as saying 'sunni bad, shia good'.
A very common refrain from all Iraqis - Sunni and Shi'i alike - when they comment on the present violence is "It was never like this before, we were all good neighbors to each other, we were all brothers of one another, we worked together and married each other, there was no difference between Sunni or Shi'i". If that's how it was when Saddam was in charge, when supposedly the Sunnis held all the power, why has it changed now?
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Closed Minds
Last night in a conversation with my sister I mentioned how some people are closed minded. I wasn't referring to her or indeed any specific individual. Immediately I put the phone down I started worrying whether that is how I come across when I speak to someone who doesn't share my own deeply held beliefs.
I usually make a conscious effort when discussing Islam to say 'I believe such&such' or 'Muslims believe this...', and if discussing Christianity with a Christian I would prefer to say, for example, 'the doctrine of original sin, and the blood sacrifice of a sinless, perfect man being necessary for the salvation of the human race..... does not make sense to me, and seems unjust and illogical'; rather than '....is a load of baloney' which might seem like a knife in their heart, and cause either pain or anger if they are fervent believers in that doctrine.
However I have come across people who become very confrontational and completely stonewall you when you simply want to have an exchange of views ("YOU may believe that but THIS is the truth....). We all have to accept that our dearest, most cherished and passionately held beliefs may simply not make any sense to someone else, and be prepared not to back down or deny our faith, but allow that the other person has a right to their beliefs.
As the qur'an puts it (interpretation of meaning):
'To me my beliefs (or way of life), and to you yours." 109:6
And that's what we are commanded to say to the Kafiroon - or 'those who deny/conceal the truth'. Not fight them, which is a commonly held misconception, or even shout angrily at them. As regards those who are not denying or concealing the truth, but have not had 'the truth' presented to them in the proper way, we should speak to them, God commanded us, with 'beautiful words'.
I usually make a conscious effort when discussing Islam to say 'I believe such&such' or 'Muslims believe this...', and if discussing Christianity with a Christian I would prefer to say, for example, 'the doctrine of original sin, and the blood sacrifice of a sinless, perfect man being necessary for the salvation of the human race..... does not make sense to me, and seems unjust and illogical'; rather than '....is a load of baloney' which might seem like a knife in their heart, and cause either pain or anger if they are fervent believers in that doctrine.
However I have come across people who become very confrontational and completely stonewall you when you simply want to have an exchange of views ("YOU may believe that but THIS is the truth....). We all have to accept that our dearest, most cherished and passionately held beliefs may simply not make any sense to someone else, and be prepared not to back down or deny our faith, but allow that the other person has a right to their beliefs.
As the qur'an puts it (interpretation of meaning):
'To me my beliefs (or way of life), and to you yours." 109:6
And that's what we are commanded to say to the Kafiroon - or 'those who deny/conceal the truth'. Not fight them, which is a commonly held misconception, or even shout angrily at them. As regards those who are not denying or concealing the truth, but have not had 'the truth' presented to them in the proper way, we should speak to them, God commanded us, with 'beautiful words'.
Scaring the Neighbors
Bismillah arrahman irraheem
yesterday in the lift with an elderly neighbor, Zeno started talking about Rumsfeld's resignation and gave her the benefit of his opinion on Dubya. When she hesitantly agreed with him, Zeno went into more detail and it was altogether an uncomfortable ride down 5 floors. As soon as the doors opened she was off like a greyhound out of the starting box.
I am trying to wean myself off the news in the morning (BBC Breakfast), more for Zeno's sake but insha'Allah there will be benefits for myself as well. There's always the papers. No, hang on - english language Al Jazeera is starting in a few days, I will surely have to check that out.
On the subject of neighbors, the ones I share a floor with are mostly elderly. and very pleasant. In fact, one Polish lady is a sort of adopted granny to the kids, she comes out of her door immediately she hears us passing and makes a fuss of them, especially Boudie. She gives us presents too, posh M&S biscuits and chocolates, and fruit, even a jacket for Zeno. However the man down the end has started ignoring me and I'm not sure why. He seems to be more frail than before (he uses a stick and moves quite slowly) and it may be something to do with that, or it may be that he told Zeno off a while ago - in fact wrongly accused him of disturbing his pot plants - and Zeno argued back. I really don't know what to do about that boy's argumentative nature. Would banning the News & political programmes/discussions help?
yesterday in the lift with an elderly neighbor, Zeno started talking about Rumsfeld's resignation and gave her the benefit of his opinion on Dubya. When she hesitantly agreed with him, Zeno went into more detail and it was altogether an uncomfortable ride down 5 floors. As soon as the doors opened she was off like a greyhound out of the starting box.
I am trying to wean myself off the news in the morning (BBC Breakfast), more for Zeno's sake but insha'Allah there will be benefits for myself as well. There's always the papers. No, hang on - english language Al Jazeera is starting in a few days, I will surely have to check that out.
On the subject of neighbors, the ones I share a floor with are mostly elderly. and very pleasant. In fact, one Polish lady is a sort of adopted granny to the kids, she comes out of her door immediately she hears us passing and makes a fuss of them, especially Boudie. She gives us presents too, posh M&S biscuits and chocolates, and fruit, even a jacket for Zeno. However the man down the end has started ignoring me and I'm not sure why. He seems to be more frail than before (he uses a stick and moves quite slowly) and it may be something to do with that, or it may be that he told Zeno off a while ago - in fact wrongly accused him of disturbing his pot plants - and Zeno argued back. I really don't know what to do about that boy's argumentative nature. Would banning the News & political programmes/discussions help?
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Enforced Inaction
Dirty dishes in the sink; the floor (all the floors) need to be vacuumed; laundry waiting to be sorted; Zeno's arabic lesson for today needs to be put together and delivered; however, Boudie has decided that he wants to sit in my lap all morning and bursts into sobs if I put him down. Did I mention that my bladder is bursting?
Zuzu is hovering with 'The Gruffalo' (I've already read it twice this morning, as well as 'Mog and the Baby'). Zeno just got up, after another late night with his dad, and is asking for breakfast. There's a scripture on my mind that I want to hunt for, to refute something that was said to me a while ago.
Either I keep Boudie on my lap and let the dishes and everything else wait (while the will to do them slowly saps away), or I put him down and get on with things to the sound of his (ear-piercing) wailing in my ears. ah, the joys of parenthood.
Zuzu is hovering with 'The Gruffalo' (I've already read it twice this morning, as well as 'Mog and the Baby'). Zeno just got up, after another late night with his dad, and is asking for breakfast. There's a scripture on my mind that I want to hunt for, to refute something that was said to me a while ago.
Either I keep Boudie on my lap and let the dishes and everything else wait (while the will to do them slowly saps away), or I put him down and get on with things to the sound of his (ear-piercing) wailing in my ears. ah, the joys of parenthood.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Yesterday (Thursday) was a lovely day. First off to Swiss Cottage (which is an area of NW London, not a house in the style of an alpine chalet - although there is one of those near the tube station). Met up with a friend outside the newly refurbished library & sports centre and reminisced about the old sports centre, which used to offer a Saturday session for Muslim ladies in their small swimming pool. The whole issue of modesty is hugely misunderstood by non-muslims, who manage to simultaneously hold several contradictory positions on the subject as soon as Islam or Muslims are mentioned. But enough of that for now.
From there we walked to St. John's Wood where there is a lovely children's playground (oddly enough in the middle of a cemetery). The kids ran around, climbed the wooden structures, got pushed on the swings and generally had a fine old time while us 2 mums caught up with our news.
We walked to the nearby Central Mosque for lunch in their basement restaurant - my friend is not a Muslim and was a bit hesitant at first at the idea of going to the mosque, but I managed to persuade her that it would be fine. And thank God it was - mosques are public buildings and meant to be welcoming to non-Muslims, but unfortunately you will sometimes come across the odd screwball with time on his hands hanging around dying to assert his imaginary authority. There were lots of people at the masjid but no screwballs thank God and we had a nice lunch, until my youngest 2 started running around the restaurant causing havoc so we tidied up and left. There was plenty of food left so we packed it up and took it with us - it's haram (forbidden) to waste food.
We parted outside the masjid and I walked the kids home - it's a bit of a walk but I do love walking, even though Zeno complained almost all the way home that he was 'tired' - funny that because the minute we got home he was tearing up and down the hallway with the toy buggy, and bouncing off the walls. As usual. Zudie and Boudie were also pretty lively for a while but had an early night.
Abuzeno is studying at the moment for his PCV and LGV theory tests so I went over some questions with him until my voice gave out. But he's doing well masha'Allah I think he will pass the tests without a problem.
Right now, Friday 1pm - Boudie (22 mo) is having a nap, Zudie (3yo) is playing and Zeno is doing some maths. we're working specifically on sums involving money, and learning the time. I thought he would learn to tell the time a lot quicker than this but, alhamdulillah anyway, it's a bit of a slow process. Although he is very bright masha'Allah, he only concentrates if it is something that interests him - and maths just doesn't interest him. When we started home educating I thought we would do an hour of maths, an hour of science, etc. etc. Well that didn't work. He lost interest after about 2 minutes and thereafter refused to cooperate despite threats and bribes. These days (2 years later) we spend 10 or 20 minutes on each subject. But then throughout the day we talk about different things and a lot of learning takes place informally, as they say.
I can't believe what a compulsive talker he is - at his age you would have been lucky to get 2 words out of me, but a constant stream of words come out of Zeno's mouth, and he provides a running commentary along with everything he does. I still don't like talking overmuch, and what with this non-stop conversation going on, as well as 2 lively toddlers currently in the throes of potty-training, I find it a bit stressful not to have any time for just sitting and thinking. insha'Allah that'll be something for my old age.
From there we walked to St. John's Wood where there is a lovely children's playground (oddly enough in the middle of a cemetery). The kids ran around, climbed the wooden structures, got pushed on the swings and generally had a fine old time while us 2 mums caught up with our news.
We walked to the nearby Central Mosque for lunch in their basement restaurant - my friend is not a Muslim and was a bit hesitant at first at the idea of going to the mosque, but I managed to persuade her that it would be fine. And thank God it was - mosques are public buildings and meant to be welcoming to non-Muslims, but unfortunately you will sometimes come across the odd screwball with time on his hands hanging around dying to assert his imaginary authority. There were lots of people at the masjid but no screwballs thank God and we had a nice lunch, until my youngest 2 started running around the restaurant causing havoc so we tidied up and left. There was plenty of food left so we packed it up and took it with us - it's haram (forbidden) to waste food.
We parted outside the masjid and I walked the kids home - it's a bit of a walk but I do love walking, even though Zeno complained almost all the way home that he was 'tired' - funny that because the minute we got home he was tearing up and down the hallway with the toy buggy, and bouncing off the walls. As usual. Zudie and Boudie were also pretty lively for a while but had an early night.
Abuzeno is studying at the moment for his PCV and LGV theory tests so I went over some questions with him until my voice gave out. But he's doing well masha'Allah I think he will pass the tests without a problem.
Right now, Friday 1pm - Boudie (22 mo) is having a nap, Zudie (3yo) is playing and Zeno is doing some maths. we're working specifically on sums involving money, and learning the time. I thought he would learn to tell the time a lot quicker than this but, alhamdulillah anyway, it's a bit of a slow process. Although he is very bright masha'Allah, he only concentrates if it is something that interests him - and maths just doesn't interest him. When we started home educating I thought we would do an hour of maths, an hour of science, etc. etc. Well that didn't work. He lost interest after about 2 minutes and thereafter refused to cooperate despite threats and bribes. These days (2 years later) we spend 10 or 20 minutes on each subject. But then throughout the day we talk about different things and a lot of learning takes place informally, as they say.
I can't believe what a compulsive talker he is - at his age you would have been lucky to get 2 words out of me, but a constant stream of words come out of Zeno's mouth, and he provides a running commentary along with everything he does. I still don't like talking overmuch, and what with this non-stop conversation going on, as well as 2 lively toddlers currently in the throes of potty-training, I find it a bit stressful not to have any time for just sitting and thinking. insha'Allah that'll be something for my old age.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I must be mad starting a blog considering I hardly have time to wipe my nose when I have a cold. Also my life is incredibly boring, consisting mostly of the usual day-to-day stuff of looking after 2 toddlers (3yo & nearly 2) and home-educating a 7yo who starts talking the minute he opens his eyes in the morning and doesn't stop all day no matter what he's doing. however - this blog is mainly for myself, as a sort of diary which I will no doubt find riveting some day (perhaps when the kids are grown up insha'Allah) and also as I do actually enjoy the process of writing. so if you're reading this and you're not one of the 4 or 5 people mentioned here you will probably be bored witless - don't say you weren't warned.
I became a home educator reluctantly. My eldest, Zeno, just didn't settle in at school, although I was enjoying the PTA meetings and fund-raisers and was considering becoming a parent-governer. I had been the treasurer of Zeno's pre-school, also I do have a nursery teaching qualification so you could say I was personally a big fan of school education for the very young.
Sadly Zeno didn't agree. He hated school from the start. He went to pre-school from the age of 3. Mums were encouraged to stay around and help out, so I was there with him about 80% of the time anyway, and he enjoyed it. But then we moved to a different area of London and after a 5 month wait he started at the local state nursery (attached to the junior school). It was a big old place, with 'proper' teachers (his was particularly severe and distant), and it definitely didn't want mums around. I was allowed to stay with him for the first week and then politely but firmly told they didn't want me around. He went there for 2 terms before moving up to Reception class. By now I was having to almost literally drag him to school, crying and sobbing. I knew he was a bright boy, masha'Allah, and really (really) wanted him to love school.
He was now full-time (9.00am - 3.30pm) and I was getting lots done at home - not only was I studying a couple of subjects I had really wanted to do, but my house had never been so clean and my life so organised. BUT, there was no joy in any of this because it was all at the expense of leaving my distraught child at the place he hated for 6 & a half hours a day. While I waited outside the classroom to collect him at 3.30, I noticed how he sat slightly apart from the other children, plucking his lip nervously. The unhappiness was obvious in his eyes, his expression, his whole demeanor. He was a picture of misery. I couldn't leave him there any longer. I de-registered him one month after his 5th birthday, and though I sometimes wish he had liked school better, I don't regret making the decision to home educate him.
I became a home educator reluctantly. My eldest, Zeno, just didn't settle in at school, although I was enjoying the PTA meetings and fund-raisers and was considering becoming a parent-governer. I had been the treasurer of Zeno's pre-school, also I do have a nursery teaching qualification so you could say I was personally a big fan of school education for the very young.
Sadly Zeno didn't agree. He hated school from the start. He went to pre-school from the age of 3. Mums were encouraged to stay around and help out, so I was there with him about 80% of the time anyway, and he enjoyed it. But then we moved to a different area of London and after a 5 month wait he started at the local state nursery (attached to the junior school). It was a big old place, with 'proper' teachers (his was particularly severe and distant), and it definitely didn't want mums around. I was allowed to stay with him for the first week and then politely but firmly told they didn't want me around. He went there for 2 terms before moving up to Reception class. By now I was having to almost literally drag him to school, crying and sobbing. I knew he was a bright boy, masha'Allah, and really (really) wanted him to love school.
He was now full-time (9.00am - 3.30pm) and I was getting lots done at home - not only was I studying a couple of subjects I had really wanted to do, but my house had never been so clean and my life so organised. BUT, there was no joy in any of this because it was all at the expense of leaving my distraught child at the place he hated for 6 & a half hours a day. While I waited outside the classroom to collect him at 3.30, I noticed how he sat slightly apart from the other children, plucking his lip nervously. The unhappiness was obvious in his eyes, his expression, his whole demeanor. He was a picture of misery. I couldn't leave him there any longer. I de-registered him one month after his 5th birthday, and though I sometimes wish he had liked school better, I don't regret making the decision to home educate him.
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