A Visit from the S.A.L.T. advisor

I just had a visit from a speech and language therapy advisor, who very kindly agreed to come and see us despite the fact that there is no formal provision of help to home educated children over the age of 5.

She seemed to think Zeno would benefit from speech therapy and advised me to really push for it at the child development clinic when we go there for the ADOS on Tuesday. she was also able to put a name to one of his speech 'impediments' calling it 'telegrammatic speech'.

Apparently there is an autism resource centre opening soon in Millbank, and Carolyn advised me to try and put Zeno's name down if possible. It's really for helping mild-to-moderate autistic children to make the transition to mainstream schooling, so I would have to do some research as to whether it would really be suitable for Zeno. We are quite happy home educating at the moment, although sometimes I think about flexi-schooling as he is so keen to socialise and I don't manage to get to that many home-edding events. It is tempting to think that school would be a ready-made group of friends but of course it could be a ready-made group of tormentors and bullies. This was brought home to me recently when he made the mistake of speaking to some schoolboys who were waiting outside the local shop, and they immediately started mocking and taunting. Zeno has very high self-esteem masha'Allah, but I'm not sure he would cope with that sort of thing on a daily basis.

Carolyn advised reading stories aloud (which we do sometimes) and asking Zeno questions about the characters like "how do you think he feels right now? why does he feel like that?" etc. and if necessary to provide the explanation. It would be particularly helpful to give Zeno some vocabulary of feelings and emotions, as although he has an extremely wide vocabulary it is mostly to do with facts. Also when Zeno is speaking it would be good to interrupt him and ask for the 'who, what, where and when' of the information he is giving, as his conversation often lacks structure.

Another helpful resource she mentioned was something called 'Social Stories' which are very simple stories to give an autistic child insight into how a particular behaviour issue of theirs might be making others feel. These have to be tailored towards the individual child so need to be written by me, but she said if I write something I could email it to her and she will advise if it is suitable.

It all sounded very interesting and I am keen to make a start insha'Allah. It was really good to speak to someone who was actually able to give advice rather than just 'assess' Zeno without giving us any feedback, which is what has been happening since January.

As she was leaving Carolyn said that Aspergers definitely seemed to be indicated but she was very positive about improving his pragmatic speech difficulties with the strategies she mentioned.

Teddy Bears and Prophets

I got a bit of a shock last night when the ITV news was on and I thought I heard that the teacher at the centre of the row over the teddy bear called Muhammad had got fifteen YEARS in jail. I had to wait until later to find out that it was actually 15 days.

I am with the Muslim Council of Britain when it says: "the authorities have grossly over-reacted" and "Gillian should never have been arrested, let alone charged and convicted of committing a crime." A quick look around the online Islamic community of message boards and e-groups finds no support at all for the conviction of this teacher and actually a lot of anger and exasperation against the Sudanese authorities.

These days I approach the papers with a lot of trepidation. If I'm feeling a bit fragile I will avoid them altogether. Try reading the 'comments from readers' attached to an article about Muslims and you will never venture outside your door again (if you belong to this barely-tolerated faith). In this case the accusations of dangerous fanaticism seem to be richly deserved, and I can only offer up a prayer that we won't all be tarred with the same brush.

Still, having said all that.....listening to Jane Moore this morning talking about the selfless British teacher who, out of the kindness of her heart because surely she couldn't be getting paid much, chose to go to the third world to help them out by educating their children, and look how they repay her!

Well that just stinks of cultural arrogance to me. Which got me thinking about the whole episode a little bit differently. A teddy bear is a western cultural icon, not a global one. Having a soft stuffed animal and making it a focus of emotional attachment or attributing human emotions to it is pretty much taken for granted here in 'the West'. In other parts of the globe it might be regarded as eccentric at best or even contemptible or sinister. The whole exercise of sending a child home from school with a stuffed animal and a note saying "my name is (whatever), please look after me and take me places with you" sounds peculiarly British and twee, and the idea that you can just take that exercise anywhere in the world and not meet with any objection or opposition is a bit arrogant.

Of course there is a political element to the story as well - the Sudanese are under pressure internationally over Darfur and are full of resentment against 'the West'. So it's not just straightforward religious fanaticism.

In any case, I do feel very sorry for the teacher and don't think she has done anything deserving of punishment whatsoever. I don't find anything in Islamic law that says otherwise.

Telling Your Child He Has Autism

I chose to tell him while we were out walking. The three of them ran on ahead as usual, but I called Zeno back, put my arm around his shoulders.
"You know how Zudie is a little behind in some things?" (Zeno had noticed this and pointed it out to me). "You know, at his age you had me reading encyclopaedias to you and you loved telling people about how the solar system works. You were a little ahead of other 4 year olds. But Zudie isn't like that, he's a little behind other 4 year olds. "
"Yes, he doesn't talk properly at all."
"Well, it might be because of something called autism. The doctor we went to see thinks Zoudie might have autism. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with him, just something a bit different - autistic children are a bit different from children who don't have autism."
(I'm thinking, did I say that right? I wish I had rehearsed it a bit. And now that I've brought up the subject by referring to Zudie, it's time to carefully bring it around to Zeno).
"Sometimes children who have autism are a bit behind other children in things like speaking and understanding. Sometimes children who have autism are a bit ahead in some things."
"Have I got autism?"
The directness of his question knocks me for six. I had got all psyched up to tell him he had autism, and now that all I had to say was one word "yes", I was hesitating.
"Yes, you and Zoudie probably both have autism, but different kinds".
"Can I go now? I want to go in the phone box at the bottom of the hill."
"Ok, but don't phone anyone."
And off he ran down the hill after his brothers.
I know that right now he probably has no clue about what autism is, and when he finds out there might be trouble. There will need to be further discussions and explanations. But it's a good start alhamdulillah.

2007 Update

Obviously it has been a busy year, too busy to do any blogging. I had a run of nasty viruses, culminating in a dose of the chickenpox, in the first few months of 2007. Then I was post-virally indisposed for a few months. Sometimes walking from one room to another would leave me exhausted and shaky. Not good when you have kids to shop, cook and clean for as well as read to, educate, take to the playground, discipline, comfort and all the other things mothers do. I admit that some of those things weren't done as often as they should have been.

Things are better now. It's no small help that we have somewhere to go when we need to get away from the flat in London whose walls press on me so horribly. There is a garden there with a trampoline, and a beach nearby, and lots of lovely walks. Alhamdulillah.

Since I last was here on blogger, it was confirmed to us that Zeno is definitely somewhere on the autistic spectrum. He is having one more assessment soon which should tell us whether he is an Aspergers child or if he is somewhere else on the spectrum.

Zudie, who is now 4, is showing signs of autism although of a different kind, maybe a bit more challenging than 'just' Aspergers. His diagnosis hasn't been confirmed but the report we had from the Paediatrician is ominous and from his behaviour I would say there is little doubt that he has autism of some kind. We love our little Zudie and he is wonderful in so many ways, no doubt masha'Allah. But....yesterday we went to the local indoor play centre and I got chatting to a little boy who told me all about himself and his views on quite a few subjects, masha'Allah. I got a bit of a jolt when he told me he was four, the same age as Zudie who still speaks in gobbledegook and finds it hard to follow simple instructions. I know that children can vary wildly in their development and they will all more or less catch up by a certain age, but still....it gave me a bit of a pang.

We are back to London tomorrow for a round of appointments, but hoping to come back to Dorset in a couple of weeks insha'Allah.