I can't believe I have been visiting Bobbie for the last 15 years or so and never realised what a lovely part of Weymouth her house is in. For the past few months we have had the leisure to go for walks just in the local area and it is really amazing. Of course the sandy beach is where we always headed before, and still do very often. A few days ago we walked all along the Esplanade to the Sea Life Centre, past Greenhill Gardens which was looking lovely in the winter sunshine. We climbed the stairs to the roof of the 'beach hut building' (as I call it) and the view was amazing - I could have sat there all day looking at sea and listening to the waves.
There is a local beauty spot just around the corner from the house, with some lovely views of Weymouth. It's actually a short cut to Chesil Beach, as I was delighted to find out. Unfortunately the land has been sold to developers who are doing their utmost to reclassify it from its present 'common ground' definition.
Yesterday we tried a new route to Chesil Beach, turning left down Chickerell Road instead of right, then left again till we got to 'Lanehouse Rocks' - a dashing name for what is actually a dangerous road for pedestrians, especially little ones. It's a very steep road but the view at the top is worth the aching calves (well it's not that steep but I am out of condition). When you reach the summit and turn around you can see distant views of the coast on both sides - Weymouth Bay on your right and Chesil Beach on your left. We turned right at the end of Lanehouse Rocks, and took 'Camp Road', hoping to strike the coast after about 10-15 minutes, but our efforts were baffled at every turn. Towards the end of Camp Road the pavement ended and it was just too dangerous to carry on with the kids. There was a grassy bank on the other side of the road but it was kind of narrow and sloping and didn't look safe. On one side of the road (which was surprisingly busy) there was a fenced-off field which had 'army' signs all over it, and on the other was a caravan park, also completely fenced off, with a footpath running along the side (parallel to the coast). We tried walking along the army fence first, after a hundred yards or so I changed my mind after checking the map as it didn't look possible to reach the sea that way. We tried the path next to the caravan park next, always looking for a way through but it was barbed wire and thick (six foot thick in places) brambles all the way. We could see the sea by now, sparkling in the late afternoon sunshine. It was going to be a spectacular sunset, but I wanted to be home for maghrib prayer so when the footpath took a sharp turn left (away from the coast) I reluctantly decided to give up and head back home. We reached the end of the footpath 5 minutes later, and were back on a normal street with houses. I was surprised how often the pavement disappeared and left us walking on the road. Another 5 minutes saw us on the main 'Portland Road' and another glorious view down to Chesil Beach and the Isle of Portland straight ahead. We took the shortcut home from there, along a footpath running initially beside a cemetary, which after a couple of stiles opens out to the Common (Markham Common maybe?), from which Chickerell Road can be reached in about 10 minutes. It's good to know that both Weymouth Bay & Chesil are within walking distance, although the Chesil walk is much more scenic, subhan'Allah.
I am really pleased that the kids don't seem to mind walking at all, and Boudie only complained after a couple of hours brisk (for him) walking, which isn't bad for a 3 yr old alhamdulillah. As for Zeno, he recently REFUSED to get in a taxi in London and preferred to walk from Fulham Road to Queensway, masha'Allah. Of course the problem with him is getting him out of the house in the first place.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Three Little Menaces
I am hating housework at the moment, astaghfirallah. It seems to take up all my time, and there are so many other things I would much rather be doing. The kids are terribly untidy and destructive, it's like they are on a mission to wreck the house. So far two banisters have been knocked out, the front door has had a piece removed from it, the curtains in the sitting room have been ripped, the fancy holders for holding the curtains back have been ripped out of the walls (altogether at least 6 of them), the sitting room door has somehow been pulled off its hinges, the immaculate walls have been drawn on with felt tip, pencil, and anything else they could get their hands on. I am almost tempted to give in to Abuzein's advice to remove all writing materials and all toys and puzzles from the house entirely. The toys are usually strewn around the house, but any attempt to surreptiously pick them up and put them away (I have long since abandoned the cheery cry of "tidy up time boys" as it is always met with howls of protest and derision) is found out and the boxes emptied again. The new yellow sofas have been drawn on with the 'dry wipe' markers which seem to contain an amazing amount of ink. The laptop I am writing on now has had more than half of its keys picked away so I am actually using a separate keyboard.
Is it just my kids? Everyone else's kids seem so well behaved, obedient and polite. Masha'Allah.
Is it just my kids? Everyone else's kids seem so well behaved, obedient and polite. Masha'Allah.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Birthdays
My second eldest sister is 52 today! It's a bit scary that time is flying by so fast, but also quite reassuring that being 50+ isn't as elderly as it used to be - Bobbie is embarking on a new business venture and has also just started a college course. I turned 40 myself on my last birthday, which was surprisingly untraumatic - maybe because of having 4 older sisters who are aging very well lol, masha'Allah. I don't really feel any worse than I did as a teenager or a twentysomething, in fact I feel lots better, alhamdulillah, much happier and more tranquil.
Of course being a Muslim is the main reason for that, although having kids also has contributed to my contentment. I suffered from depression a lot in my twenties, but never since becoming a Muslim have I had a bad depression. Alhamdulillah - all praise and thanks belongs to God.
Well it's good for me to reflect at the moment that being a mother has also been such a hugely positive thing in my life. Just at the moment the kids are being incredibly trying, especially Zudie. It seems impossible for him to understand that I cannot immediately bring him whatever he asks me for - so for example he wants his toy 'racing car', and he calls out "Mama, racing car". I don't know where his racing car is but I tell him to come with me and we'll look for it - which we do, unsuccessfully.
"I'm sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
"I don't know where your racing car is."
"Racing car."
"Sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
By now he is crying and shouting repeatedly "racing car." If I walk away he will continue to shout after me "Mama, mama, racing car." He can do this for an indefinite period. I mean literally hours. I will end up with palpitations and the shakes from the effort of remaining calm.
I can't possibly allow myself to become angry or shout at him because he does not understand at all and it is not his fault. Distraction would be a good idea, except to mention any other toy, or a DVD that he loves, or a storybook he usually enjoys, will make him hysterically angry and he will either hit me or throw something at me or across the room.
Neither does he understand the concept of waiting for anything. If he asks me for juice when I'm busy, telling him "Wait a minute" gets either monotonous repetition of his request until it's fulfilled or sometimes tears or hysteria if he's feeling particularly impatient.
On a positive note, lately he has been really enjoying drawing pictures and copying out letters and numbers. He amazed me one day by coming to sit beside me with his pencil and paper, and then writing his name almost perfectly! turned out his dad had just written it for him to copy, but he was able to turn the page and write it again. masha'Allah. That is completely different from his older brother, who even at 9 years old never writes anything voluntarily.
Of course being a Muslim is the main reason for that, although having kids also has contributed to my contentment. I suffered from depression a lot in my twenties, but never since becoming a Muslim have I had a bad depression. Alhamdulillah - all praise and thanks belongs to God.
Well it's good for me to reflect at the moment that being a mother has also been such a hugely positive thing in my life. Just at the moment the kids are being incredibly trying, especially Zudie. It seems impossible for him to understand that I cannot immediately bring him whatever he asks me for - so for example he wants his toy 'racing car', and he calls out "Mama, racing car". I don't know where his racing car is but I tell him to come with me and we'll look for it - which we do, unsuccessfully.
"I'm sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
"I don't know where your racing car is."
"Racing car."
"Sorry Zudie I can't find it."
"Racing car."
By now he is crying and shouting repeatedly "racing car." If I walk away he will continue to shout after me "Mama, mama, racing car." He can do this for an indefinite period. I mean literally hours. I will end up with palpitations and the shakes from the effort of remaining calm.
I can't possibly allow myself to become angry or shout at him because he does not understand at all and it is not his fault. Distraction would be a good idea, except to mention any other toy, or a DVD that he loves, or a storybook he usually enjoys, will make him hysterically angry and he will either hit me or throw something at me or across the room.
Neither does he understand the concept of waiting for anything. If he asks me for juice when I'm busy, telling him "Wait a minute" gets either monotonous repetition of his request until it's fulfilled or sometimes tears or hysteria if he's feeling particularly impatient.
On a positive note, lately he has been really enjoying drawing pictures and copying out letters and numbers. He amazed me one day by coming to sit beside me with his pencil and paper, and then writing his name almost perfectly! turned out his dad had just written it for him to copy, but he was able to turn the page and write it again. masha'Allah. That is completely different from his older brother, who even at 9 years old never writes anything voluntarily.
Another Broohaha
"SHARIA LAW IN UK INEVITABLE SAYS DR. WILLIAMS"
Thanks to the dear old Archbish of Canterbury, Islam and Muslims are once again on the front pages of most of the newspapers and the usual rabidly anti-Islam columnists are gleefully sharpening their knives. To be fair to the bearded one (the A of C that is), I doubt it was his intention to stir up trouble. He seems to realise that there is more to Shariah than the hudd penalties (capital punishment for murder and adultery, and hand-chopping for persistent theft which is not due to extreme need), and he would like us all to sit down and have a sensible discussion over a nice cup of tea.
Clearly Shariah law has an image problem in the west. It is assuredly not the way it is painted in the media here. As I Muslim I understand 'Shariah' to be - the guidelines given by God as to how He wants us to live our lives. It encompasses many things, for example worship, and how we conduct relationships with others. It literally means 'the Road' or 'the Way'.
Non-Muslims in the west immediately think of 'stoning women' or 'chopping hands' when the hear the words 'shariah law'. They also think of countries like Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iran and believe that these countries follow Islamic Law. This is very far from the truth. There is no country in the world in which Islamic Law/Shariah is implemented. If it was, believe me I for one would be the first one to hop on a plane and emigrate there.
Regarding adultery, firstly let me say that men and women are equally guilty before God and the punishment applies to both of them. If you look at the record of countries like Iran you will find that both men and women are executed for adultery in roughly the same numbers (and men are executed for rape) however in the western press you will only find reports of cases of executed women.
If Islamic Law were truly implemented, adultery would be next to impossible to prove. It requires the testimony of four witnesses of good character, and they have to be able to swear that they saw penetration take place. Not that they saw two naked people rolling around on top of each other, but that they actually witnessed the male member penetrate the female genitals. (pardon my explicitness but that is the law, and Islamically speaking there should not be any squeamishness when it comes to such a serious issue).
Two other issues should make it even harder to bring forth an accusation of adultery against anyone:
1. in Islam it is absolutely forbidden to voice an unconfirmed suspicion of adultery or other immoral behaviour without definite proof. If anyone accuses someone of adultery without bringing forth the required witnesses, they are to be flogged and their witness is for ever after disregarded, a source of great shame for them.
2. as Muslims we are absolutely forbidden to spy or pry into other people's private rooms or dwellings. If there is a knock on my door and I don't see anyone there when I look through the spyhole, I usually guess it is a Muslim caller who has stood to one side after knocking so that they don't inadvertantly see into my home without being invited by myself. That is the custom and to do otherwise is seen as terribly rude.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) never pursued cases of adultery against anyone. In the rare cases where the punishment of death was applied, it was always people coming to him and confessing their sin and demanding punishment. Once, a man confessed to committing adultery and asked for the punishment, which the Prophet pbuh ordered to be carried out. Later on, those who carried out the punishment reported that the man had run away but they chased him and brought him back and killed him - the Prophet pbuh told them "You should have let him go". From this it seems very clear that only those who ask for the punishment should have it carried out on them.
Given all of the above, it is amazing that anyone should ever be convicted of adultery. That, I am sure, is exactly how it should be, not the awful cases that are reported sometimes about rape victims being flogged in Pakistan or women being sentenced to death after retracting their confession (in the case I remember the Sudanese woman was in any case divorced, so even if she had illegal sexual intercourse it was fornication rather than adultery - and the punishment for fornication in Islam is 100 lashes).
There is one more thing to say about adultery - those who believe in the Old Testament (ie Jews and Christians) have no basis for calling the death penalty for adultery barbaric as it clearly commanded by God there. Even if they believe that law is now abrogated, there is no doubt that it was once a command of God that the adulterer receive the death penalty, and for a certainty many people in old testament times were stoned to death for this (as well as other things - see the OT for a full list).
As for public flogging as a punishment for other, minor, offences - in many cases it could be better than a prison sentence, more effective as a deterrant and also more humane than locking people up. There are strict guidelines for flogging, it is not meant to be as bloodthirsty as pirate whippings or slave whippings you might see in TV dramas.
Hand-chopping? as I mentioned already, if someone steals because of extreme need (I mean of food or other sustanence for him/herself or his family) then the punishment does not apply. Only persistent thieves who do so for profit are meant to be punished in this way. And I don't have a problem with that, I save my compassion for people who are victims of theft and not the greedy perpetrators. It can be absolutely devastating to be the victim of a burglary, or even a handbag snatch or pickpocket or something.
The real irony here is that the first Islamic community, headed by the Prophet peace be upon him, was a model of tolerance and inclusiveness. The sizeable number of Jews in the community were given the right to live by their own laws and conduct their own affairs according to their scriptures - although they also had recourse to the Islamic legal process if they wished.
Thanks to the dear old Archbish of Canterbury, Islam and Muslims are once again on the front pages of most of the newspapers and the usual rabidly anti-Islam columnists are gleefully sharpening their knives. To be fair to the bearded one (the A of C that is), I doubt it was his intention to stir up trouble. He seems to realise that there is more to Shariah than the hudd penalties (capital punishment for murder and adultery, and hand-chopping for persistent theft which is not due to extreme need), and he would like us all to sit down and have a sensible discussion over a nice cup of tea.
Clearly Shariah law has an image problem in the west. It is assuredly not the way it is painted in the media here. As I Muslim I understand 'Shariah' to be - the guidelines given by God as to how He wants us to live our lives. It encompasses many things, for example worship, and how we conduct relationships with others. It literally means 'the Road' or 'the Way'.
Non-Muslims in the west immediately think of 'stoning women' or 'chopping hands' when the hear the words 'shariah law'. They also think of countries like Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iran and believe that these countries follow Islamic Law. This is very far from the truth. There is no country in the world in which Islamic Law/Shariah is implemented. If it was, believe me I for one would be the first one to hop on a plane and emigrate there.
Regarding adultery, firstly let me say that men and women are equally guilty before God and the punishment applies to both of them. If you look at the record of countries like Iran you will find that both men and women are executed for adultery in roughly the same numbers (and men are executed for rape) however in the western press you will only find reports of cases of executed women.
If Islamic Law were truly implemented, adultery would be next to impossible to prove. It requires the testimony of four witnesses of good character, and they have to be able to swear that they saw penetration take place. Not that they saw two naked people rolling around on top of each other, but that they actually witnessed the male member penetrate the female genitals. (pardon my explicitness but that is the law, and Islamically speaking there should not be any squeamishness when it comes to such a serious issue).
Two other issues should make it even harder to bring forth an accusation of adultery against anyone:
1. in Islam it is absolutely forbidden to voice an unconfirmed suspicion of adultery or other immoral behaviour without definite proof. If anyone accuses someone of adultery without bringing forth the required witnesses, they are to be flogged and their witness is for ever after disregarded, a source of great shame for them.
2. as Muslims we are absolutely forbidden to spy or pry into other people's private rooms or dwellings. If there is a knock on my door and I don't see anyone there when I look through the spyhole, I usually guess it is a Muslim caller who has stood to one side after knocking so that they don't inadvertantly see into my home without being invited by myself. That is the custom and to do otherwise is seen as terribly rude.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) never pursued cases of adultery against anyone. In the rare cases where the punishment of death was applied, it was always people coming to him and confessing their sin and demanding punishment. Once, a man confessed to committing adultery and asked for the punishment, which the Prophet pbuh ordered to be carried out. Later on, those who carried out the punishment reported that the man had run away but they chased him and brought him back and killed him - the Prophet pbuh told them "You should have let him go". From this it seems very clear that only those who ask for the punishment should have it carried out on them.
Given all of the above, it is amazing that anyone should ever be convicted of adultery. That, I am sure, is exactly how it should be, not the awful cases that are reported sometimes about rape victims being flogged in Pakistan or women being sentenced to death after retracting their confession (in the case I remember the Sudanese woman was in any case divorced, so even if she had illegal sexual intercourse it was fornication rather than adultery - and the punishment for fornication in Islam is 100 lashes).
There is one more thing to say about adultery - those who believe in the Old Testament (ie Jews and Christians) have no basis for calling the death penalty for adultery barbaric as it clearly commanded by God there. Even if they believe that law is now abrogated, there is no doubt that it was once a command of God that the adulterer receive the death penalty, and for a certainty many people in old testament times were stoned to death for this (as well as other things - see the OT for a full list).
As for public flogging as a punishment for other, minor, offences - in many cases it could be better than a prison sentence, more effective as a deterrant and also more humane than locking people up. There are strict guidelines for flogging, it is not meant to be as bloodthirsty as pirate whippings or slave whippings you might see in TV dramas.
Hand-chopping? as I mentioned already, if someone steals because of extreme need (I mean of food or other sustanence for him/herself or his family) then the punishment does not apply. Only persistent thieves who do so for profit are meant to be punished in this way. And I don't have a problem with that, I save my compassion for people who are victims of theft and not the greedy perpetrators. It can be absolutely devastating to be the victim of a burglary, or even a handbag snatch or pickpocket or something.
The real irony here is that the first Islamic community, headed by the Prophet peace be upon him, was a model of tolerance and inclusiveness. The sizeable number of Jews in the community were given the right to live by their own laws and conduct their own affairs according to their scriptures - although they also had recourse to the Islamic legal process if they wished.
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