October Half-Term in Weymouth

Yesterday we packed up our buckets and spades and a football and headed for the beach. Since it was the only sunny day forecast for the coming week I thought we should make the most of it. Despite the cold the beach was fairly crowded, because of the half-term holiday I suppose. Still it was nice to see everyone wrapped up against the cold instead of half naked hehe. Town was really packed as well. So anyway the kids had a great time alhamdulillah, made sandcastles and dug holes and generally ran around (so did I run around, to keep the cold at bay). Zudie wouldn't let me have a race with Zeno, started screaming at the mention of it, and also started crying and screaming 'No!' when I tried to play football. Although a lot of his autistic behavours have lessened some of them are still hanging around. I chased him for a bit although he was protesting and acting upset he ran away from me and eventually started laughing. Got him to chase me as well which he did enjoy. As usual Zeno lost interest in his own family and tried to join in with the other groups of people dotted around. Sometimes this is okay sometimes it is a disaster. He started chasing after a toddler and made as if to stop him going near his sandcastles and the parents got a bit jumpy - Zeno doesn't differentiate between a toddler or a teenager in these instances and can come across a bit aggressive. Although when he started chasing a couple of little kids and the girl turned around and slapped him he was very restrained and just laughed and didn't respond.

I'm noticing more and more the unpleasant looks I get whenever we go out in Weymouth. I've started avoiding looking at people because of the hostility I sometimes get. It happened in town yesterday and also when we went for a drive to Corfe Castle the other day. The stares definitely cross the line beyond curiosity into aggression. It's not as if I was dressed all that differently from everyone else there (I do love my jilbab and elbow-length hijab, but I only wear that in London) apart from the hijab tucked into my neckline - just normal clothes from a chainstore, long and warm as suited to the weather. It's worse when it's kids. Once in town these little boys were staring (about 6 or 7 yrs old they were) until one of them blurted out "look Dad it's one of them Muslims!". Of course I gave him a big smile but my heart sank. They must have heard a lot of sensational conversations about Muslims to come out with something like that. Same with the boys (teenagers) who passed by the house when I was sweeping the yard and shouted something about immigrants and getting out of the country. It's unpleasant and dispiriting. Shouting abuse from a speeding car is also a very popular pasttime down here at the mouth of the Wey, that has happened on a number of occasions.

Of course there are all these occasions of racism (which it boils down to even though I could 'pass' for English by my looks and voice), but there are also some very nice people, friendly and helpful. I know that sometimes they are being particularly nice precisely because of the hijab, and whenever I've had the chance to talk for a few minutes with such people they usually express dismay and shame about the muslim-bashing in the media and just among the general population. And thank God for those people who continually restore my faith in human nature.

Kildare/Dublin Visit

It's been really busy here alhamdulillah. Went to Ireland end of March for the first time in 10 years. It was really strange to be back and seeing all the familiar places that I had completely forgotten about. I'm such a Londoner these days that I forgot I am also a Dubliner (Northside!) and it felt good to be back. It was only a flying visit so there wasn't much time for wandering around old haunts but some day insha'Allah I plan to go back and do that very thing. Cabra looked just the same, we drove past the old house and my brother asked if we would go in but I couldn't face it, too many memories of Ma and Granny hanging round the place. Over Broombridge and into Finglas was where I noticed most of the changes, it's now very built up where there used to be just quiet back roads and fields.

I didn't see much of town, just that some idiotic millenium monument has been erected (the mot juste believe me) in the middle of O'Connell Street, a meaningless towering needle that filled me with rage. Easons was a bit of a disappointment as it used to be such a magical place for me, I would spend hours browsing the departments (religion/spirituality was always a favourite, and the art department). It was all changed of course but not for the better, no comfy chairs and coffee like Books Etc. A bit boring and uninviting. Also I noticed most of their books about Islam were written by non-Muslims which was annoying. They did have one by Tariq Ramadan though which I picked up together with a Horrible History of Dublin for Zeno which I hadn't seen here. However I don't want to do it an injustice, it might still be the best bookshop in Dublin.

Visited Kildare for the first time, where my sister and most of her grown-up children live. Two of them have their own families now and it was lovely to see them all, and as I didn't have my own kids with me I could just concentrate on being an aunt (and great-aunt) for a change. Kildare reminded me a little bit of Dorset although flatter (surprisingly flat altogether actually but very green). Athy seems like a nice little town and a good place to live for someone who likes the quiet life. Niece #1l recently got back from an extended stay in South Africa so it was interesting to hear her impressions of the place and the people. Niece 2 was a star and drove us everywhere even though she was tired out from a visit to the UK (we flew to Dublin together). I visited Niece 3 in the middle of the country where they have over an acre and are full of exciting plans to build a house on their land. She has a daughter and a son and one on the way insha'Allah; the boy is a toddler and plump and gorgeous and the girl is a little bit older and so beautiful and clever masha'Allah. Niece 4 lives in London at the moment lol so didn't see her. Also visited Niece 5 at her beautiful house and got to see her 3 kids who are so lively and chatty and beautiful (I know I sound like a biased auntie but they really are exceptionally good-looking kids masha'Allah). I also got to see nieces 6 and 7 (#7 is the daughter of another sister, the one in Dorset), they are still living in Dublin and busy with their jobs and their hectic social lives....turning heads and breaking a few hearts no doubt, the tall brunette and the petite blonde.

Also managed to spend a day and a half with brother #2 and his wife in Mulhuddart, which has definitely changed beyond recognition. I quite enjoyed taking a walk around the place with Jane (sister #6). Their eldest girl has moved out now, but they still have 3 kids living at home (youngest is nearly 14 I think). They are really lovely kids and very brainy all of them masha'Allah. Went for a drive in the mountains and saw some amazing scenery. Wicklow is really beautiful and you could almost survive on the fresh air alone. Went to Glencrea and saw the detention centre where Grandad was incarcerated as a boy (for loitering, which is outrageous when you think that he was just a penniless orphan with nothing to do and nowhere to go anyway). I don't know how grim his life there was, he spent a few years there anyway before he left and went to fight in the first world war. It is now a centre for reconciliation - not for the poor boys who were locked up there for no other crime than existing, and being poor and powerless, but for those affected by the 'troubles' in Northern Ireland.

I loved the mountains, the desolate scenery and the nourishing air, the colours (purple, grey-blue, brown and green-black). I felt like I could live there and be a wild woman of the mountains, washing in the streams and shaking my fist and muttering at the passing tourists (pretty much what the present inhabitants of Wicklow do hehe). It has the same attraction for me as the desert, although you might not see the similarities at first. Something to do with the huge sky, the emptiness of the landscape which is so soothing and which lets you connect with something deep inside rather than having to engage with externals. No details or bright colours to tire the eyes only huge skies and mountain ranges, silence except for the wind (not even a bird singing)....no smells, only pure mountain air. Bliss.